Status updates generally start with the morning of the mission. However, the events of last night require special note.

General Dad did not receive one hour of consistent sack time due to an unruly platoon. Private Adyra got up four times either coughing, complaining of a stomach ache or just plain trouble sleeping. We are running low of the gallons of motrin needed to sedate her. Private Yona woke up in the middle of the night concerned that Private Evan would sleep in his bed and “make it smell.” This is a valid concern, but not worth waking up the entire platoon up at 0200. Private Adin took a midnight stroll to ask General Dad to tuck him in as his government issued blanket kept falling off. This happened twice. Private Evan also required regular tuckings and at some point wound up in General Dads bed. General Dad would have been very upset, but Private Evan is the best snuggler. However, despite this evening of revelry, by some miracle, the entire troop appeared healthier than they have been in days and all wanted to go to training camp.

General Dad checked everyone’s temperature, saw that the there were no fevers while ignoring the fact that the electronic thermometer read 95.6 suggesting it might have been broken. The entire troop was then transported to drop zone alpha tango niner and General Dad went to do what he does.

General dad was abruptly interrupted at 15:30 with a communication from training camp stating that Private Adin was running a fever of 99. While General Dad tried to explain that number is not considered a fever and my troops can handle up to 105 without going into seizures, the nurse on duty would not hear it. So, General Dad hopped in the experiential transport vehicle code name J.U.S.T.M.Y.L.U.C.K. as it started to display some very strange HUD readings never seen before.


Despite the strange readings, the vehicle made it to training camp and General Dad picked up all the troops as he was not going to come back an hour later when training camp ended. The troops were returned safely to base camp and General Dad got some more work in before creating what can only be described as the greatest dinner the troops had ever seen. It was a lovely presentation of gourmet tofu dog wraps, frozen fresh mushroom barley soup topped with recently shredded in some factory cheddar and finished with some cool clean oreo cookie ice cream.


Suffice it to say, the troop basically just ate the ice cream except Private Adin who will eat anything.

The troops did have some messages for General Mom. They all wanted to let her know they miss her. The two noteworthy messages were Private Yona saying “I like when you are here and when you gives us toys, but not when you give us shots” and Private Evan recording a special video for General Mom. I think he was being kind to General Dad when he really just meant he liked General Moms food.

Message from Private Evan

The troop made lights out on time, everyone is medicated and General Dad spent a few more hours doing what he does. Two more days to end of mission and the return of General Mom. The entire platoon can’t wait!



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