Today was meant to be a day of R & R and turned out to be unlike any mission we ever fought. We are lucky to have survived. First, the plague that seems to have infected Private Adyra has spread to Private Yona which halted any evening celebrating the platoon had in mind. General Dad was able to attend the visiting IDF B’Nai Akiva educational program courtesy of Sargent Morty watching over the base. However, what occurred at this program has since been classified, but I can say I have not laughed so hard in a long time.
After the IDF meet, General Dad liaised with a few of his war buddies back at base for a midnight series of war games mission codename: Catan. General Dad was victorious. However, upon return to the barracks the two ill privates required around the clock care, cuddles and motrin. General Dad did not sleep well and to make matters worse awoke to a destroyed base from the two healthy soldiers, Private Adin and Private Evan.
Due to illness we could not go on furlough to the SZ, but were able to muster the strength to head to Basecamp Franklin for a special banquet and training exercises on their trampoline. When we arrived we met up with another Operation Single Dad mission lead by Captain Fuchs. This led to highly energized entertainment, outdoor challenges and just plain shenanigans and hijinks. Special thank you to Base camp Franklin for hosting and feeding our troops.
Below you will find a list of special incident reports submitted as dictated by mission protocol. Please deal kindly with the troops. They are valuable to completing the mission.
#4567: Private Evan and Private Yona both woke up General Aba four times during the night eventually displacing him to an empty room on base only to wake up later to find Private Yona in his bed.
#4568: The entire platoon destroyed base on an early morning rager leaving wild animals, dinosaurs, race cars and various other dangerous objects scattered throughout base
#4569: Private Adyra suffered a mild frustration when hit from an IED in the form of a ziploc bag filled with water launched by Private Evan who thought that was hilarious.
#4570: Multiple noise infractions from ongoing yelling
#4571: Private Adyra took a rock in the mouth from an unknown guest at Basecamp Franklin resulting in a bloody mouth
#4572: Private Adin took a knee (his own) to his nose resulting in a bloody nose
#4573: Private Adin took a fist from Private Adyra to his eye resulting in a black eye. This was prompted by Private Adin hitting a kicking Private Adyra for unknown causes on the Base camp Franklin trampoline
The entire troop went to bed early way before lights out due to exhaustion and illness. General Aba is left picking up the pieces of a base in shambles so that when General Mom returns from her mission, she does not put General Aba in the brig.